


i hate to think about you (with somebody else)

by sleepy_stargazing



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Background Relationships, Best Friends to Lovers, Denial of Feelings, F/F, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Platonic!Tuffy, Swearing, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, Tyrus - Freeform, Underage Drinking, cyrus is a little insecure, tj smitten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2020-10-04 16:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20474213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepy_stargazing/pseuds/sleepy_stargazing
Summary: Cyrus and TJ are best friends. Buffy may like TJ. Surely that’d be no problem for Cyrus, because hetotallyisn’t in love with him. Definitely not.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so,,hi. i was writing a much more angsty tyrus fic (coming… not soon but like, eventually) but i’d seen this prompt before and i kept thinking about it and how much i wanted to make my own version of it and well, here it is!
> 
> by the way, this mostly follows canon up until the last episode of the second season, but they’ve been aged up to like sixteen-seventeen, so they’re in high school.
> 
> hope you enjoy<3

It happened on a lazy Sunday, when Andi, Buffy and Cyrus were peacefully laying on the short-haired girl’s bed. They’d been lounging around all day, blatantly ignoring the history homework they’d supposedly gotten together to do because “summer is just around the corner” and “we deserve to relax a little after working our asses off all year long”, according to Buffy.

They’d also been trying to find any excuse to hang out lately, as they wouldn’t be able to see each other as much once summer actually started: Andi was traveling to Oregon with Bex and Bowie to stay with some relatives for a whole month, Buffy and Jonah were attending a summer camp very, very far away from Shadyside, and Cyrus was, as always, staying at home on his own.

“I think this will be the summer in which I _actually_ die of boredom.” Cyrus whined, letting his face collapse into the pillow next to him. “Andi, I might have to hide in your suitcase, or something.” 

He _hated_ staying home for the summer. There wasn’t much to do in Shadyside - even less without his best friends around to hang out with. He’d had to go to the Spoon by himself so many times you’d think he was used to it by now.

Andi snorted. “It’ll be okay, Cy. You’ll find something to do.”

“Other than sleep, eat and drown in my misery?” he asked with a sigh. “I doubt it.”

“You’re not the only one who’s staying home for the summer, anyway.” Andi started with a sympathetic smile, before sending Buffy a fleeting look. 

“Yeah,” Buffy started, stifling a laugh. “TJ’s not going anywhere.” 

Cyrus lifted his head at that. “I thought Amber said they were going to California for a couple weeks.”

She shrugged. “Change of plans, I think.”

Cyrus’ cheeks tinged a soft shade of pink at the thought of spending his summer with TJ. It wouldn’t be the first–over the last couple years, TJ’d become a nice (the _only_ nice, really) addition to his usually unpleasant, dull summer. Both of their families insisted, for some reason, on spending summer at home, so they’d pretty much become each other’s first option when it came to hanging out at that time of the year. When Amber told him they would be going away, Cyrus had suddenly felt a lot less excited for summer than he usually was, so this was _great_ news.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know that.” Buffy looked at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes. “You and TJ usually plan your schedule like, one month ahead.”

Cyrus smiled sheepishly. 

His relationship with TJ had always been... different. He was his best friend, but it wasn’t like with Andi or Buffy. Not even Jonah. Ever since the beginning it’d felt different around him – a good different. TJ made Cyrus feel like he was worth something, that everything he had to say mattered; whether it was a random animal fact he managed to slip into one of their conversations, or the ugly feelings he was used to bottling up in fear of not being good enough. 

He loved all of his friends, but things with TJ had always been easier. Lighter. 

Warmer.

Andi, who had been silently following their interaction, talked: “So, speaking of TJ,” a smirk played on her lips, eyes trained on her friend. “How have things been going between you two, Buffy?”

Buffy’s cheery expression faltered. “Huh? What do you mean?”

Andi jokingly glared at her friend, and smacked her leg lightly. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t.” she exchanged a puzzled look with Cyrus. Well, Buffy _did_ see where this was headed; she just didn’t want to believe that Andi was convinced enough of what she was implying to confront her about it.

Cyrus was far deeper in denial.

Andi squinted at her. “You know, how you and TJ are secretly crushing on each other?”

Buffy had gotten awfully close to TJ in the last few weeks - ever since the rap apology. From constantly spending time together to inside jokes shared from across the table, Andi had been paying close attention and thought it was more than obvious that something was going on.

“Andi,” the curly-haired sat up against Andi’s headboard, disbelief painted all over her face. “what?” 

“Ugh, I knew you were going to react like this.”

“Because you’re talking nonsense!” she wrinkled her nose. “How could that even cross your mind?”

With their differences out in the open and Buffy truly trusting that TJ was at least trying, it had been surprisingly easy for Buffy to go from not standing being around TJ for more than a couple hours to feeling as or even more comfortable with him than she did with any of the guys on the basketball team.

One day, some weeks ago, she and Cyrus had asked him to sit at their table in the cafeteria. She still remembered how Andi’s eyes had widened at the sight of her laughing along to something TJ’d said. It had been a little awkward at first, since Andi had never really interacted with him before, but TJ managed to make enough small talk with her and Jonah for her to see that he really wasn’t a dick anymore, and she warmed up to him sooner than later.

Things had definitely changed, but not in the way Andi thought.

“Well, for one, you’re always competing with each other.” Andi said, sounding completely confident in her statement.

“And?”

“That’s how you used to treat Marty!”

“Oh god,” Buffy covered her face with her hands for a few seconds, before revealing a barely noticeable blush and a death glare. “who even said I liked Marty?”

Andi sighed, defeated. She knew she’d never be able to crack her. “Okay, maybe _you_ don’t like TJ, but I’m positive he does.”

“He doesn’t!” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Cy, tell her he doesn’t.” 

Two pair of eyes turned to Cyrus, who’d been unusually silent for the entire conversation. He forced a smile and shrugged. “Uh, I’m not sure. I haven’t really noticed.”

The three of them hung out together a lot - Buffy, TJ and him. They went to the park to play one-on-one’s (most of which Cyrus didn’t participate in, but he enjoyed the company and stealing their post-workout snacks), passed time drinking milkshakes at the Spoon and studied math together (Buffy was the brains and Cyrus served as moral support). Cyrus had never noticed any of the chemistry Andi talked so enthusiastically about, but maybe he’d just not been paying enough attention. 

He didn’t understand why, but thinking of TJ and Buffy together made him uncomfortable. It made him feel cold and put a weird lump on his throat.

He brushed it off as him being scared of his friends needing more space for themselves and leaving him behind - yeah, that must be it. 

Andi and Buffy bickered back and forth with each other for the next few minutes but ultimately didn’t get anywhere, so they decided to drop it with huffed laughs and friendly shoves. 

Cyrus wasn’t able to get the conversation out of his head for the rest of the day.

***

“Earth to Cyrus!” 

“Huh?” Cyrus blinked, taking in his surroundings and noticing that all of his friends were staring at him. He must’ve spaced out. “Sorry, did you ask me anything?”

Andi tilted her head at him, unsure if she should ask him if he was alright or just leave it. “We were talking about Amber’s party this weekend. Are you going?”

Cyrus just nodded, still a little disoriented.

“That’s great!” Jonah said, noticeably more energetic. “Who else is going from Grant?”

Cyrus, appreciating not being the center of attention anymore, went back to his french fries. They were cold, which made him wonder for how long he had been just staring at them instead of eating them.

The day had been going pretty well up until lunch came around. He’d sat down with all of his friends, laughed, had a good time, and then.

_“Hey, Slayer” TJ called, throwing a fry at her. “When were you gonna tell me you’re going to basketball camp in a month? I had to find out through Tyler. _Tyler_. What kind of friend are you?”_

__

__

_“Whoops, I forgot.” she threw a fry back, a cocky grin on her face. “Don’t miss me too much.”_

_TJ rolled his eyes fondly. “As if, Driscoll.”_

Then he started thinking about the Buffy and TJ thing. Again.

He felt a nudge on his right side, and looked up to meet TJ’s green eyes, who stared at him with mild concern. “Are you okay, Underdog?”

Cyrus fought back a wince, knowing damn well that TJ wasn’t _actually_ asking him if he was okay; he knew him well enough to know the answer to that. He just wanted to see if Cyrus would lie to him or not. Which, he would - he was going to. Because he had to. “No, yeah, I am. Why?”

TJ frowned lightly. “Because you’ve been dozing off for like, the last ten minutes.”

“I just didn’t get much sleep last night,” Cyrus looked away. “I’m okay.”

Cyrus could feel TJ’s eyes on him for a few more seconds before finally turning back to their friends and rejoining the conversation. 

He hated lying to TJ. He hated lying in general, but it was especially bad with TJ because he _always_ knew when Cyrus was lying to him. And then, he knew that Cyrus knew that he knew. And he hated making TJ think that he didn’t trust him, because he did - but, sometimes, he just couldn’t tell him the truth, because it’d make things weird. Like this once. But TJ didn’t know that.

Guilt had started washing over Cyrus when he felt a warm weight on his hand, and he let out a soft sigh as he intertwined his and TJ’s fingers. 

Okay. Maybe he was overthinking, and things were going to be fine.

Soon enough, the bell rang, which made all of the students in the cafeteria collectively whine. 

“Teej, let’s go.” Buffy said with mock excitement. “It’s your favorite time of the day! Numbers time!”

TJ groaned, reluctantly getting up. It’d been years since he was officially diagnosed with dyscalculia, and he’d gotten a lot better, but he still had a hard time staying positive throughout his classes. Honestly, having Buffy there with him was a blessing. 

“Well, you know how Mrs. Richards gets when you’re late.” TJ said a little awkwardly, picking up his and Buffy’s tray. “Bye, guys” he sent Cyrus one especially long look, before following Buffy, who’d already started walking.

Andi spoke as soon as she was sure he wouldn’t be able to hear her. “They’re so cute!”

“Who?” Jonah asked, resting his chin on his hand.

“Buffy and TJ!” she beamed, almost jumping in her seat. “I’m convinced he likes her, but she keeps denying it. What do you think?”

“I, uh,” he grimaced. “I don’t really know, Andi. I don’t think it’s like that.”

Andi dropped her shoulders. Out of all of them, she’d thought that at least Jonah would agree with her. “Why not? Am I just imagining things?” 

Jonah sent Cyrus a look, but it was so quick he couldn’t decipher what he was trying to convey. “It just… wouldn’t really make sense.”

Andi glared at both of them. “You guys are literally blind. Fuck you.”

Jonah laughed at Andi’s exasperation, and Cyrus was left staring at TJ and Buffy in the distance with a bitter taste in his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! At last!  
I am so, so sorry for disappearing. University started getting to me and then some stuff happened and I had a massive writer's block and well. I promised myself I would finish this fic so here I am. Chapter 3 is almost done so that should be up in a little less than a week.  
This is the largest chapter of the fic, I think, so I hope you enjoy it c:. Also, I hope you're safe and taking care of yourselves<3

Cyrus had been going through one of the surely _thousand_ rows of vinyls when the bell of the Red Rooster dinged. His head snapped up to look and, really, it was _just_ his luck that Amber, of all people, walked through the door. A grin appeared on her face as soon as she spotted him. 

“Hey, Ambs!” he said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. Amber seemed not to notice as she engulfed him in a tight hug.

“It feels like we haven’t seen each other in ages.”

Cyrus giggled. Unlike all of their friends, Amber went to Pierce High, the only other high school in the area aside from Grant. This meant Cyrus only got to see her when she had a shift at The Spoon, on the odd occasion that their entire friend group managed to fit a movie night or a party in their increasingly busy schedules, or when he went to her house to hang out with TJ. “We literally saw each other last week.”

“Yeah,” she sighed dramatically, and he could almost hear the smirk in her voice. “but you and TJ were too busy cuddling on the couch to pay attention to me.”

Cyrus’ cheeks flushed a bright crimson. “We weren’t cuddling.”

“Whatever you say, Cy.” she laughed, letting go of the embrace.

Amber did stuff like this all the time. She would imply something about him and TJ and Cyrus would blush or stutter or just — be awkward. He tried not to think about it too much, but sometimes, he wondered if she did the same thing to TJ, and if it had a similar outcome.

“So,” he spoke, eager to change the subject. “what brings you here?”

“TJ, actually,” she said, before another ding resonated through the store. Their eyes drifted to the door. “There he is!”

TJ made his way towards them, and Cyrus’ heartbeat raced when his eyes met TJ’s. He blamed it on Amber’s teasing starting to get to him. 

“Teej!” 

“Hey, Cy” TJ beamed and stood next to Amber, who looked at them with a knowing smile. They looked so similar side by side — matching flaxen hair and twinkling eyes.

Cyrus was the first of their friend group to know that Amber and TJ were siblings. It had been surprising at first, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense — not necessarily because of their affinity with mean façades back in the day (well... maybe a little), but because of how many mannerisms they shared. These included the bad habit of packing a single black pen (sometimes not even bothering to check if it worked) to class, and, much to Cyrus’ dismay, the belief that pouring milk before cereal was the one and only right way to eat breakfast. 

“TJ said he’d get me an early present,” Amber said happily. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Oh!” Cyrus forced a dazed grin on his face, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that he was there for the exact same reason. Damn. “What are you getting?” 

“King Princess’ latest vinyl, obviously. I need it in my hands ASAP.”

Cyrus deflated internally. He’d been looking for the best present he could find for Amber the entire afternoon and of course. King Princess. Duh. Now he couldn’t get her that either, though.

“What about you, Muffin?” asked TJ.

“Huh? Me?” the brown haired stuttered. He took the vinyl closest to him in a rush. “I’m buying this one. Have you heard it? It’s great!”

Amber furrowed her brows lightly. “System Of A Down? I didn’t know you liked that kind of music.”

Cyrus laughed nervously. “You didn’t know? This is what I listen to all the time! You know, I may look soft and innocent on the outside, but that doesn’t mean I can’t like, uh, screaming. In my ears. I think it’s… badass!”

His response effectively made the situation worse, and the crease in between Amber’s eyebrows deepened. God, he should’ve just said he was looking around. This is why he never lied. 

She opened her mouth to say something, but TJ beat her to it. “Ambs. I forgot my wallet in the car. Could you bring it here? Please?”

“Really?” Amber groaned. “Fine. I’ll be back, Cy.”

Cyrus sighed once she was out the door. “Well, that was dumb. Thanks, TJ.”

“What are you actually doing here?” he stepped closer, amused.

“Same thing as you. But it’s not going well,” he frowned. “I don’t know what to get her.”

“You should’ve said so,” TJ bumped his shoulder with his. “I’ll help.”

Cyrus beamed at him enthusiastically. “You will?”

“Of course I will.”

And they just stood there. Smiling at each other. For God knows how long. Cyrus wondered if it would become a common occurrence for his pulse to pick up under the warm gaze of his best friend. It would be somewhat… inconvenient. 

“Hey,” Amber appeared suddenly, making them jump. Cyrus had almost forgotten about her, somehow. He should’ve felt more guilty about it than he actually did. “I couldn’t find your wallet.”

“Oh, right.” TJ gave her a really bad attempt of an apologetic smile and took it out of his pocket. “I had it the entire time. Sorry.”

“Oh my god. You lousy excuse of a-” Amber narrowed her eyes at him, and glanced at Cyrus for a moment before darting back to her brother. “You’re buying me ice-cream, Thelonious.”

“Hey!” TJ jabbed daintily at her feet. “Don’t be so loud!”

Amber snickered and turned away, strolling towards the ‘Pop’ section of the store. 

“I think I better get going, now” Cyrus said. “I’m supposed to meet with Buffy in, like, ten minutes.”

“Oh,” TJ nodded, and raised his hand to ruffle Cyrus’ hair. He squealed and stepped back, barely managing not to knock someone over thanks to TJ grabbing the front of his shirt and stopping him right in time. Cyrus smiled sheepishly, and TJ grinned. “I’ll text you about the gift, yeah?”

“Okay,” he said softly. “Bye, Teej.”

Cyrus walked towards the door and shouted a goodbye to Amber. Once outside, he tried to will the silly smile out of his face, but was certain it was almost entirely futile.

***

Cyrus loved Shadyside in the summertime. The soft hum of the wind, beds of flowers on the grass, the trees engulfed in golden light — it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. To be able to bask in the nature around him without worrying about freezing to death was a privilege he wished would last longer than it actually did.

Buffy walked by his side, hands shoved inside the pockets of her jeans, in companionable silence. There’s another thing he loved: Buffy, and the way they could spend hours on end without talking, just taking in each other’s presence, just — being. They had always clicked like that, and he could not be more glad for it.

“Wanna go sit over there?” she spoke at some point, nodding towards the swings. 

Cyrus smiled at the sight. “Sure.”

As they approached the spot, he felt a strange rush of protectiveness in his chest. It was his and TJ’s place, after all. Back in middle school, they used to spend many evenings there, just talking and swinging without a care in the world. They didn’t go there as much now — going to each other’s houses had proven to be much more convenient, but it was still _their_ place, charged with memories and realisations and feelings (even if Cyrus thought they were mostly his own). He tried to brush this all off when Buffy sat on one of the swings.

Buffy stifled a laugh, staring forward with unseeing eyes. “Remember when TJ used to be a dick?”

Cyrus chuckled. It was slightly surprising that she, too, associated the place with TJ, but it felt good to acknowledge it with someone else. “Oh, no, it’s not like you remind him of it every day, or anything.”

“I’m glad he changed,” she swung her feet softly, and had a fond smile plastered on her face. “He couldn’t have done it without you, you know. I’m glad you met him. I’m glad _we_ met him.”

Cyrus couldn’t help the grin that spread over his mouth. “I’m glad, too.”

He also couldn’t help the same flood of thoughts he’d been helplessly enduring for the last couple of days from suddenly infesting his brain — all about the true nature of the relationship between the guy in question and the girl sat next to him. Cyrus bit his lip, and glanced briefly at the curly haired. Would it be of any good if he asked? Would she even consider answering him, or would she just laugh it off, like she did in Andi’s house? 

He knew there was no other option, though. He’d been trying to wrap his head around it, trying to remember every single time he’d seen TJ and Buffy together and pinpoint where it could’ve turned from friendship into something more, but he’d ended up wasting plenty of his time because he just couldn’t be sure. Maybe he was missing something, or maybe he was… stalling. Or something. And he really shouldn’t be, even if he wasn’t entirely sure why he would in the first place. He shouldn’t, because if Buffy _did_ like TJ, there was nothing he could do.

After a while, he built up some courage and started: “Hey, Buffy.”

He regretted it the second the words came out of his mouth. God, he really _couldn’t_ ask her. She was going to get mad at him. Cyrus didn’t want her to be mad at him. She was going to grumble, ask ‘are you serious, Cy?’, and he would feel bad for putting her in an uncomfortable situation. _Again._ And, on the off chance that she was sincere and told him that she did like TJ… what would he even _do_ with that information? He wasn’t ready for it. It would do him no good to know because. Well. Just because.

She hummed, and turned to him. Their eyes met, and, yeah, he was _not_ going to ask her. 

“Er,” Cyrus started to panic. He was going to blurt out something dumb. How did he get himself into these situations so often? “what happened with Marty?”

Well. There went all those months swallowing down the question to avoid making Buffy upset. Right down the toilet. 

Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but closed it a moment later. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her face was strained — as if she was struggling to make herself seem indifferent, and failing.

He could very clearly remember the couple weeks following Marty’s fading presence in Buffy’s (and, consequently, the entire GHC’s) life: Buffy trying to act like everything was okay, like it didn’t even phase her that he avoided them in the halls. It was hard not to notice, though, having known her for more than half his life, that it was all an act. Cyrus could see through her — even right at her, sometimes, when she stared silently at Marty’s back or longingly at the spot in the basketball court where they used to sit and talk after practice. 

Cyrus had been dying to get in, to get her to pour her heart out and comfort her properly, but he knew she would not appreciate it, even if he thought it would be for the best. So he let it be, and, with time, her sunny smiles adorned her face once again, and that was more than good enough for him. 

Cyrus damned himself for starting the conversation. Even now, it seemed like it was a delicate subject for her. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, turning his gaze away to lessen the pressure. He also couldn’t bear to look at her awkward grimace. “I shouldn’t have asked. You really don’t have to answer, I just. I was just curious. Sorry, Buffy.”

Buffy glanced at him for a second, and her eyes softened. “No, it’s okay,” she shot him a smile — it was still pretty tight, but it didn’t look too pained anymore. “I forgot I never told you guys what happened.”

There was a beat of silence, and then, Buffy spoke, in a tiny voice:

“He asked me to be his girlfriend.”

Cyrus’ eyes widened. He barely held himself back from shouting a ‘What?!’ at the top of his lungs, but really, it was the least he could do after having Buffy actually talking about this. “So, um, given everything, I’ll assume you said no?”

“Yeah,” She winced. “He thought it was a good idea, and that it would make sense for us to be together. I, well, I wasn’t really sure,” Buffy gnawed on her bottom lip, and for a moment, Cyrus thought she was done, but: “I was… I just didn’t want to lose him, you know? But I did anyway, so. Yeah.”

She forced out a chuckle that looked like it physically hurt. Cyrus wished he could hold her and melt her lingering misery away, in some way. He held her hand and squeezed, instead, and was relieved when he felt her squeeze back.

“Do you wish you’d said yes?” he asked, eventually. He saw Buffy frown a little, pensive. It didn’t take her too long to answer.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just wish he hadn’t left.”

Cyrus nodded slowly. He wasn’t sure of what to say — they very rarely talked about Buffy’s feelings, let alone her love life. He felt a pressing urge to know exactly what to say to make everything better, to make Buffy feel happy again, but he feared he didn’t. 

At that moment, Buffy’s phone dinged, effectively shattering the fragile bubble that had enclosed them from the real world for the last few minutes. Cyrus wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or disappointed. 

Buffy snorted and leaned towards him, shoving the screen on his face. TJ’s chat stared back at him and, well, there it was: the pang of jealousy that had started it all. 

It made him feel guilty. It wasn’t Buffy’s fault that he was feeling like this. It wasn’t her fault that it made his jaw clench, and his palms sweaty, or that it felt cold — cold, contrary to the blazing heat he’d felt years prior whenever he saw Jonah and Andi walk hand in hand (although, he worried what comparing the current situation with the whole ‘Jonah—fiasco’ might mean). It was awful and cruel and, again, _not_ Buffy’s fault in the slightest. And yet, he felt as if he’d started to build an invisible brick wall between Buffy and himself, and was already half-way through. 

He decided that he hated it. 

He tried to swallow his feelings down to actually see what he was being shown. TJ’d sent Buffy a picture of Jonah inside a fridge. “Huh?”

Buffy cackled. “‘Huh’ is right. I’m sending that to him,” she typed for a few seconds, before looking up at him. “TJ is asking why you’re not answering his texts.”

Cyrus tittered. “Phone’s dead. Tell him and JB I said hi.”

(TJ and Jonah’s easy friendship had been… unexpected. Cyrus had seen _some_ of it coming, of course; after all, they were both sporty and chaotic in their own ways, and both enjoyed trying (rather ineffectively) to teach Cyrus skateboard tricks, for some reason, but they’d really, really hit it off. Enough to be doing silly stuff like get themselves inside of refrigerators, apparently.)

When Buffy stopped texting TJ some seconds later, Cyrus put his hand back above Buffy’s. “Thank you for trusting me, Buffy.”

She smiled at him, and he could see that it reached her eyes then. “Always, Cy.”

***

_[05:21 PM] teejay:_ hey

_[05:30 PM] teejay:_ jonah and i r trying 2 get inside my fridge

_[05:36 PM] teejay:_ i think i broke it

_[05:39 PM] teejay:_ jonah fits ok tho

_[05:39 PM] teejay:_ [picture attached]

_[06:02 PM] teejay:_ r u there?????

_[06:03 PM] teejay:_ :( 

_[06:14 PM] teejay:_ bet you’d fit too


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be longer than expected, lol. Again, please remember that the characters have been aged up to 16-17 :) ((also, I refuse to acknowledge that Josh is as tall as Luke now)).   
Next chapter will be up in a week, or maybe two, I'm not sure. My classes start on monday, so it depends on how much homework I get. Hope you're all well, thank you so much for reading <3

Even after all these years, it was hard to understand the fact that _he_, Cyrus Goodman, was TJ’s best friend.

TJ, who high-fived little kids at the park, and was infinitely patient with Cyrus (even when it came to developing any kind of physical capabilities. One had to be _truly_ patient to endure all that), and encouraged him — believed in him, even when Cyrus himself found it impossible to do the same.

And sure, it made sense in the beginning; back in middle school, TJ had shit friends (even Cyrus, who prided himself in giving everyone second chances or at least the benefit of the doubt, couldn’t deny that), but now — now he had Buffy and Jonah and Andi and his new basketball teammates and, lord, even Amber. He had all of them and still, Cyrus was the one he would call when he needed to vent, or when he got an ‘A’ on a math test, or when he had to go grocery shopping last minute and wanted some company. Such as now.

“Muffin,” called TJ, poorly concealing a smile. “can you grab the BBQ Pringles for me, please?” 

Cyrus found the item far up one shelf of the aisle, so high he could not reach it even if he jumped. He shoved TJ playfully, glee dancing in his eyes. “I will murder you.”

As it turned out, Amber’s party was hours away, and she’d just realised they were out of some absolutely _crucial_ goods such as ice and chips and plastic cups. How she’d _just_ started worrying about it this morning, Cyrus could never comprehend, but well. Here they were, at least.

And it wasn’t as if he were complaining, anyway. Hanging out with TJ was far better than spending the entire day stressing over the clothes he’d chosen for later (were they too casual? Too formal? What had Amber meant when she told him “just put on something you can dance in, Cy”? And did she want him to _dance _?!). Though, to be honest, Cyrus preferred hanging out with TJ to most things.

He liked the little things; like the way his chest seemed to burst with warmth whenever TJ smiled at him, or the tingle in his fingers as their hands brushed — always too close to one another, but refusing to move away. But he also liked the big things; like feeling safe, and fuzzy, and worthy. 

“So,” TJ’s voice shook him from his thoughts. “are you excited for senior year?”

Cyrus sighed deeply, earning a snort from his friend. His lips tugged upwards despite himself. “I’m more nervous than anything, if I’m being honest.”

“Why?” TJ asked softly as he filled the shopping cart with every sweet within an arm’s reach. Cyrus found himself putting most of them back on the shelves. “Even _I_ am looking forward to it. And I’m, you know. _Me_.”

“Yes, TJ, you’re _you_,” Cyrus rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “It’s just that it’s senior year, _the_ senior year. Capital ‘T’,” he started gnawing on his lip, fingers twitching at his sides. “That means everything I do will have to be perfect. Get everything right, and all that. I might even have to learn how to do a handstand.”

“I can always help you with that, underdog,” TJ said with an amused smile, but soon sent him a gentle look. Cyrus got those sometimes, when his fidgeting brain made him shoulder more weight than was necessary, or overthink an amount that bordered on unhealthy. The blond swung an arm over Cyrus’ shoulders, pulling him close. “Cy, you really don’t need to be perfect. I think this being our senior year means that we should make as many memories as we can, so we don’t regret wasting our time trying to be someone we’re not when we’re off to college.”

Cyrus couldn’t have suppressed the smile even if he’d wanted to. He looked up at TJ, and found him staring right back.

“I’m happy to make them with you.”

“Yeah,” Cyrus said, bees furiously whirling in his stomach and feeling a little out of breath. “me too, Teej.”

It was crystal clear, some days, just how lucky he was to have TJ as his best friend. At times, he wondered if it was truly he who had helped TJ change for the better, or the other way around.

***

“What did you guys get for Amber?” Andi asked chirpily, voice dampened by the hum of music emerging from the Kippen residence, only a few meters in front of them. “I made her a necklace with some stuff she’d been eyeing up in Andi Shack.”

“I got her a yellow dress,” Buffy said, raising her gift bag in the air. “Thought she’d look good in it. Well, she looks good in most things, I think.”

“True,” Andi smirked. She turned, “What about you, Cy?”

“It’s a book,” he spoke. “’The Off Season’ by Amy Hoffman.”

Andi beamed. “That’s such a good gift for her!”

Cyrus shrugged, a sheepish smile on his face. “I had a little help.”

The house was brimming with people, most unfamiliar and unmistakably drunk. The music was loud and there were balloons and lights of every colour lightening the room. Cyrus thought that maybe this was why Amber had let the food affair slip from her mind earlier.

As they made their way to the kitchen, the slender form of the blond materialized in front of them and flailed herself at Andi. “Hey guys!” she spoke cheerily, lips painted red and eyes glassy. 

“Hey, birthday girl!”

“Happy birthday,” Cyrus shouted over the music. “Amber, this place looks amazing!”

“Thanks!” she grinned, and grabbed him and Buffy by the wrists. “Now. Let’s get you all something to drink.” 

***

“Having fun?”

Cyrus jumped at the abrupt sound of TJ’s voice. When he turned, he was met by soft-looking, dishevelled hair, rosy cheeks and a mouth quirked in a smile. The sight made his head spin. He blamed the alcohol.

He shrugged, turning his eyes away. He’d lost TJ in the crowd at least a half hour ago, and just ten minutes later someone had challenged Buffy at beer pong (which she would’ve refused if not for Cyrus’ insistence that he could handle being on his own for a while). Amber and Andi were most likely running around the house, somewhere, joined at the hip like they always were. Cyrus had chosen to try and blend in with the walls for the time being. “I’ve kind of been standing here, by myself, for a while. So.”

TJ nudged him with his shoulder. “Well, you’re not alone anymore.”

He couldn’t help the soft chuckle that came out of his lips, or the way his eyes lingered on TJ’s own. “I guess I’m not.” 

TJ’s smile was almost blinding. 

“Wanna go see Buffy?” Cyrus suggested hastily when the intensity of the moment became too much. He averted his eyes once more. “I bet she’s kicking everyone’s asses at beer pong.”

“Yeah, she probably is.” he snorted. TJ seemed to consider something, for an instant, before he intertwined Cyrus’ fingers with his and guided him towards the backyard, not even chancing a glance back at the dark-haired. Cyrus was rather grateful for it, if he was honest; he only felt himself move in a daze, brain in the middle of short-circuiting. This was why he refrained from drinking when TJ was around. 

The feeling of summer breeze on his skin and the faint voice of their friends calling his name were what brought him back from his stupor. Cyrus saw at least a dozen people surrounding the beer pong table, and Buffy and Jonah at one side of it, waving.

“Guys!” Buffy called, a grin half-splitting her face. “Play with us!”

Cyrus shook his head instantly. “Nope. No way.”

TJ whined, tugging him closer to the table. “C’mon, underdog, it’ll be fun!”

Cyrus shot an exasperated look his way. “It won’t be fun when I’m throwing up on your couch.”

TJ threw his head back and laughed. Jonah spoke, expression mirroring Buffy’s, “C’mon, Cy. We’ll go easy on you.”

Cyrus caved in. Buffy paired up with him (and only then TJ let go of his hand), and though his friends kept their promise to go easy on him, he still ended up drunk out of his mind at the end of the second round. He relied on Buffy’s arm to support himself as they walked a little further away from the small crowd, and propped themselves against a wall.

From there, they could see TJ and Jonah still playing, winning round after round. At one point, after throwing the ping pong ball across the table and effectively tossing it into the last cup of the opposite team, TJ chugged three cups of beer in one go, just because. Cyrus huffed fondly, amused by his elation, while Buffy shook her head with a smile on her face and said, “Idiot.”

***

Giggles echoed across the dark room, lit only by the faint moonlight that leaked through the window. Cyrus felt himself stumble, and let his hand grab TJ’s shoulder to ground himself. This almost made TJ fall on his face — another fit of giggles left Cyrus.

“Sorry,” he managed to say, catching his breath. TJ laughed in response.

Cyrus wasn’t sure of what time it was. He would’ve checked his phone but he doubted it would be of any use, since his head hadn’t stopped spinning quite yet. It was late enough for everybody else to have left the party, though, leaving behind a mess that made even Cyrus, hazy mind and all, wince in sympathy for all the cleaning the Kippen siblings would have to do the following morning. 

He heard the mattress of TJ’s bed sink under the blonde’s weight before a warm hand suddenly tugged him by the wrist, and Cyrus found himself sitting on TJ’s lap. He couldn’t will himself to move away. TJ’s arms tight around his waist wouldn’t have let him, anyway.

He snorted, instead, and asked, “From one to ten, how drunk would you say you are, Teej?”

TJ cackled under his breath, resting his face in between Cyrus’ collarbones, near his heart — too near, sending shivers down his spine, which he could only hope TJ would interpret as the alcohol doing weird things to his body. “Seven out of ten, maybe.”

“You probably shouldn’t have played for that long.”

“But it was fun!” TJ protested, and Cyrus felt him withdraw a few inches from the space he’d briefly rested on. As silence consumed them for a second, Cyrus prayed to whoever was out there that TJ hadn’t taken notice of his _surely_ ragging heart. “Hey, Cy?”

“Yes?” Cyrus answered softly, moving back so he was able to look at TJ’s face.

Big mistake. Huge. Colossal.

Their faces were close. So close he felt the puffs of TJ’s breath on his chin. He should’ve moved, or turned his head, or _something_, but he was frozen. He couldn’t look away from TJ’s face; one half of it lit in white glow and the other engulfed in darkness, and TJ’s eyes, shit, his eyes—

TJ’s eyes held an emotion he’d only seen a few times — like that one time they’d climbed up Cyrus’ rooftop and talked until the coldness of the early hours of the morning was too much to bear, or after Cyrus came out to him back in their first year of high school. Or the day TJ had looked for him in the swings, back in middle school, with apologies and unsaid promises on his lips, and Cyrus realised that maybe, just maybe, TJ cared about him as much as Cyrus cared for him. He’d found it hard to look away then. It was hard to do so now, too. 

If he didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he saw TJ’s eyes drop to his mouth, for an instant. But he _did_ know better. It had to be his mind playing dirty tricks on him. It had to be the alcohol.

Right?

Cyrus gulped.

There was a knock on the door.

They jumped apart at the unexpected noise. It took Cyrus a few moments to go back to his senses, but eventually he turned to the door, with a hurried: “I’ll get it!”

He opened it with a slightly trembling hand, and was met with the sight of Andi and Amber, smiles plastered on their faces. 

“Hey Cy,” Andi greeted brightly, and proceeded to look over his shoulder. “Hey TJ!”

“We just wanted to make sure you were okay, and you didn’t need some coffee, or water, or something.” 

“We’re okay,” Cyrus smiled. “but thanks, Ambs. Are you going to sleep yet?”

“Yes. We’re exhausted.” Andi answered, though she looked the farthest from it. Actually, they both looked far too lively for having been partying for the last few hours. In comparison to Cyrus, at least. 

“We are,” spoke Amber, and her hand found its way to Andi’s arm. “Let’s go, Bambi. Bye, guys!”

“Bye!” Cyrus heard TJ say from his place inside the room. He just waved, and pretended not to notice the state of Amber’s red lipstick, and the exact same shade of it inked over Andi’s lips, even though she’d been wearing none at the start of the night. He just hoped he wouldn’t forget about it by the time morning came.

He discovered TJ looking at him, already beneath the covers. The blonde patted at his side and Cyrus stifled a laugh. 

The moment had passed. It was all normal again. Well. Their kind of normal, he supposed.

Once he’d climbed onto the bed, it wasn’t long until TJ searched for his back and pulled him flush against his body, like he’d done so many times before. Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s chest. He felt his heart drum rapidly under his cheek, but. He couldn’t trust his judgement. He was drunk. “What were you gonna tell me, before?”

“Nothing,” TJ spoke, voice muffled by Cyrus’ hair, already etched with sleep. “That we should sleep.”

Drifting off was hard with all the thoughts swirling in his head, untamed and flagrant. He struggled as TJ’s even breathing turned into snores, and strong arms brought him closer in his sleep.

Cyrus sighed shakily. He didn’t know for how much longer he would be able to pretend that the fluttery feelings in his chest didn’t mean anything.


End file.
